My Dark side ...

What a way to start the new year. The death of my Grandma somehow brought me one step back to God, or to Catholism. I was touched by the way the people from the church help our family through the whole thing. I opened my heart and listened ... somehow, some messages did go in.

Ironically, during this period, I came across a book, I do read books other than comics hor ... haha, perhaps because of the guilt or sadness or whatever feeling you call that ... I became more opened to different ideas. Then I did some reflections ... it was terrible, I see the very dark side of myself.

Put it simpler, not easy to describe feeling using words ... Remember the SEVEN Sins? Pride, Greed, Envy, Anger, Lust, Gluttony and Sloth ... damn ... I've them all! It's a hard one to swallow ... 7 out of 7 ... perfect scoreline ... Don't ask me how/what I'm doing about it ... knowing the problem is one thing, solving it is totally another dimension of it.

Well, sharing something I got from an email which again I'm damn sure I am guilty of; "We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it's truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy.
Dennis Prager"

Goodbye My Dearest Grandma ...

Today, I bid my last goodbye to my Dearest Grandmother. God decided to bring her home in the afternoon on Monday, 7 Jan 2008. I thank God for ending her pains and sufferings from cancer and diabetes.

It's never easy to say goodbye, not to mention an eternal one. Yes I know our religion belief is that we will meet one day, the judgement day ... but still I simply can't control my emotions. Tears just flow by itself for the past few days.

Flashes of memories keep coming back, especially of my childhood days. Staying in her Punggol kampong home, how she loved and pampered me. I guess I was really the most fortunate one, I'm her eldest grandson and I know how treasured I was to her and the family. It so suddenly make me realise that not all memories need to be captured on film or images ... some are just deeply engraved.

A lost sheep I am, never a true Catholic, but for days I really pray hard for God to forgive our sins and bring her to heaven. For her kind heart and hardship endured bringing up 15 childrens must be praised. I pray for her to find peace and eternal happiness.

Grandma, goodbye.

Love, Your Eldest Grandson
Ju Guang

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

1st January 2008!!! It's a new exciting and challenging year ahead!

Wishing everyone a great year ahead! And praying for a fruitful and peaceful year for me, my family and everyone I know! :)

And what a way to start the new year with Edan's birthday photo 2 days back ... blowing candles and sharing his cakes!

Well, 2008 does not start well for me ... spending the whole day at my granny house, with her in rather pessimistic condition already. I pray she need not suffer too much. And God bless us all with good health ...