A father's Dilemma ...

Once again, I'm 6000 miles away from home. The extremely cold winter did little to warm my heavy heart.

Little Edan now knows how to say "hello" when I called home just now, he still can't speak full sentences, his vocabulary is so limited ... but when I speak to him, saying all those words that I had always spoken to him at home or when playing with him ... he cried, he wouldn't let go of the phone when his mum want to take it from him ... ai, a father's pain between work and his son.

Just last weekend, at a wedding dinner, I was happily chatting with my ex-teammate(navy time) when we happen to chat about my son. She mentioned about how now 4months old baby is to be sent to "school" or something! Gosh! Just when I was showing my astonishment, another lady from the same table added ... oh yes, I sent mine too at 4 month old, training him on ... (I think something like flash card recognision etc ... I did not really bother to listen). She continued ... "my son at 2 yrs old (of course I just told her my Edan is now coming 2 yrs old) already can recognise A-Z" ... I jokingly replied, oh shit, then mine's very late in progress already!!!

This however, leaves a very lasting impression. It makes me think a lot ... 4 months old ... my god! I always thought about how kiasu parents are ... and until now I think I'm very relax with my boy ... but I really start to ponder now. With all the kiasu parents out there ... can you imagine, sending child to "school" at 4 month old ... walao ... if I do not do something about it, my boy will definitely lose out in the early years in schools.(yes, only early years, things will balance out as they age and other factors will set in) Nothing much I can do about it now but what should I do with my coming second child? My belief is always to give my children their childhood. A child should be a child ... spare them the social pressure. But if they come to learn about it, will they blame me for being too relax with them? Ai ... a father's dilemma ...

I guess my stand is clear, just let nature take it's course ... ultimately, there are still so many factors that determine a person success in life ... of course the definition of success itself is so subjected to debate already.

I wish the lady and her child the best ... but I guess I should tell her what my wife said ... "oh, our Edan can now hem out the tune of nearly every advertisment song or sing along already ... " hahahaha! I nearly die laughing ... I guess afterall, they are rich people who feels the social pressure and have the ability to put their kid on the ferrari way to life.

I guess many still do not understand, they are just squeezing everything as early as possible ... but that does not make a child more intelligent or successful. Life is afterall a marathon ... not a 100m race ... I guess this is it ... :)

* if anyone who is reading this, please do not feel I'm criticising anybody or just being a sour grape, I'm really pondering over these question and writing down my thoughts or saying it out ... nearly always help me sought things out faster. Yes, again my mind is cleared. :) I will be the father who will give my son his childhood, not to impose the pressure I face from the society on him. Afterall, that's what a father should do ... right or wrong, I guess there will never be an answer.